Hello, I would like to remain anonymous. My question is about lesbianism, a topic I struggle with. I am a Christian woman of God, but I feel as though I am attracted to women more than men. In fact there have been very few men in my lifetime that I have had feelings of attraction to.
I don’t have any experiences with men. I had a boyfriend once. We shared a kiss, and we fondled each other. I actually fondled him more, because I wouldn’t let him fondle me that much and I wouldn’t let him penetrate me with his fingers. I had another very short term boyfriend who I was attracted to, but we never kissed. He tried kissing me, but I didn’t want to kiss him. We felt each other. We lay in a missionary position fully clothed one time. I guess you can say we kind of masturbated or had sex with our clothes on. Both cases were more than 25 years ago. I have not had a boyfriend or been in a relationship since. I kissed a girl more than 25 years ago too, and since that experience, I have not been with anyone else.
I feel I prefer women. I’m really conflicted, confused and often feel condemned over this situation. I know right from wrong, and I was taught and believe that homosexuality is a sin and an abomination. The thing is, I have feelings for women. Women to me are more interesting mentally than men. It seems that intimacy (not sexual or sex), with women, feels happy and free. The experience feels different with women than with men, even though I don’t have a lot of experience with either sex, but what I did have felt different. Even now when I see a woman I’m attracted to, it feels different than being attracted to a man.
Lately I’ve been trying to force myself to be and/or have attraction for men because it’s the right thing to do. I feel that if I marry or have a boyfriend, I will be “cured” of my sin. I don’t understand why I have to have these feelings. I’ve prayed over it, and felt that I have been delivered of them, however, they come back. The last thing I want to do is sin against God. I love Him, believe and trust in Him, but why do I like women?
I feel condemned and hypocritical being a woman of God, and preaching against homosexuality. I’m not a minister or anything, but I speak against homosexuality in conversations or discussions. It’s also my way of hiding my own feelings.
I currently have very strong feelings for a woman who’s married that I have known for ten years now. We’re not even friends, we don’t communicate or see each other often, but I had feelings for her when I first met her. I believe that God showed me all the red flags, but I ignored them. She’s married, established in who she is, she has her own family and friends. Basically no room, desire or interest or need to include me.
I ignored all this I feel because I was selfish in wanting someone I felt attracted to, felt I clicked with, and was compatible with even though she was not available. It even felt like there was a connection between us, but now I question whether or not it was my imagination. Now I feel trapped, deserving of this consequence for my sin (coveting thy neighbor’s wife), very unhappy and miserable because my feelings are more intense for her, and I can’t seem to move on for good concerning her. I want to be saved, but I have very real and very strong feelings for her.
Thank you for writing, but I’m not sure you will like what I have to say. First, all of us are born with a sin nature. That is why Jesus died on the cross to take our punishment for our sins. If we do not repent and receive Jesus as our Savior we will not go to heaven. It is not good enough just to say you are a Christian or saved, there has to be repentance, which means turning from our sins to Jesus to save us.
There are several verses I am going to remind you about: “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. “And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.” I Corinthians 6:9-11
“Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, 25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.” Romans 1:24-
Here is the thing, your house is on fire, Jesus loves you, and I care for you that is why we have to tell you that your life is headed in the wrong direction. If you hang on to your sin until you die, you will not go to heaven. Your sin will pull you down to hell.
Now, there is time to repent, and get right with God, that is why the I Cor. passage above was written. Some in Corinth were into lesbianism even then, but Paul tells them because they repented they were washed, sanctified, (set apart) saved. They had repented first, because Paul says if a person continues in sin they will perish.
If you are truly saved you need to confess your sin to God and turn from it. I John 1:9. Because none of us are perfect. But if you read the rest of 1 John you will find that Christians don’t practice sin. Even thoughts, Jesus said, can be sin. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28
The choice is yours ——-, do you want to enjoy sin for a season and then spend eternity in hell, or do you want to renounce your sin and turn to Jesus to give you victory over sin.
Marlene and I will be praying for you, write and tell us what your decision will be.
In Christian love,
Gary and Marlene
Going to heaven is as simple as A B C !
Admit that we have sinned.
“…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God… (Romans 3:23)
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.
“Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” (Acts 16:31)
Confess with our mouth.
“…that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” (Romans 10: 9-10)
Pray this prayer: God, I admit I have sinned. I believe Jesus your Son loves me and died on the cross for my sins. I am sorry for my sins, and turn from them. Right now, I receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.