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Answer: Parents should love their children equally because God loves His children equally. That doesn’t mean that we don’t show attention to one at a time when they need that attention. We need to meet each one of our children’s needs.
Probably the best example of the importance of "not showing partiality to our children" is the story of Joseph. "Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceable to him." (Genesis 37:3-4)
This is one way we know that this truly is the word of God, in spite of the many good things Jacob did, God also shows his sins. If this were not a true history of what actually took place only good things would be said about them. Back to the point, Jacob blew it, and it almost cost him the life of Joseph. Of course, God was behind the scenes watching out for Joseph, and later we have the eventual happy reunion.
But this story illustrates how parents can cause some of their own problems with their children. Playing favorites can cause jealousy among siblings. A favored child is often a spoiled child. We see that illustrated in another story in the Bible where parents picked favorites. "So the boys grew. And Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field; but Jacob was a mild man, dwelling in tents. And Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob." (Genesis 25: 27-28) Here again we see Scripture telling it like it is, so we can learn from other’s mistakes.
As you may or may not remember the story, let me just remind you that these boys were twins, but they ended up almost killing each other, and as a result of the jealousy that followed they separated. Jacob had to run for his life to another part of the country, as a result he never saw his brother for a long time, and he never saw his mom again.
We are all created differently. We have different personalities. Some personalities we get along with better than others. As a parent, you might find yourself getting along with one child more than another because of personalities. In that case, it is important to demonstrate how God loves everyone the same (John 3:16) by loving each one of our children the same.
We love our children the same, but this love may be shown in different ways to each child. Each of our children have different gifts, talents, and personalities. Just as you wouldn’t go out and buy the exact same pair of shoes for each child in the same color and size—so it is with our love. We give to our children according to their need, use, wants, and desires.
Thanks for the question,
Gary & Marlene Panell
The Scripture used in this discussion is taken from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible.
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