V: You know who I am, but I would like you to meet my dummy, Louie!
D: He always says that, that’s so you won’t think he’s the dummy!
V: That wasn’t very nice!
D: Well, what did you want me to say?
V: You could have told the folks how glad we are that they are here with us tonight, or. Isn’t this a sharp looking group of people, Louie?
D: Well, some of them are.
V: What do you mean by that?
D: My teacher’s out there. (If it is summer time, whisper, “Louie is going to summer school.”
V: Your teacher?! Where?
D: You see that girl out there, in the second to the last row, with the long hair?
V: Oh, I think so.Is that your teacher?!
D: No, the ugly one next to her is my teacher!
V: Louie, now you stop that kind of talk? Besides, your teacher is not here. I happen to know your teacher and she is a very nice person. As a matter of fact, I ran into her the other day on the street.
D: (Shakes head) When are going to learn how to drive?
V: I wasn’t driving.Now don’t get smart with me you little show-off, she told me that she gave out your report cards the other day!
D: She, she, did?
V: Yes., where’s yours?
D: That’s a good question!
V: Oh, I think I see it, (it is stuck in his shirt) here’s your report card right here!
D: Oh no, I’m sunk!
V: Why did you say that?
D: You’ll see!
V: “C” “D” “F”. How could you manage to get such terrible grades?
D: It was easy!
V: Oh be quiet, and what does this mean, “absent one-half day?”
D: Well the days were getting shorter, and I think I’m getting sick (turns head away).
V: Turn around and look at me.
D: That just makes me all the sicker!
V: Absent one-half day, does that mean you were skipping classes?
D: No, I could never do something like that!
V: Look, did you.or.did you not skip class?
D: Yes, I did. (drops his head in shame)
V: No you didn’t!
D: (to the audience) How do you like that? I tell him I did, and he tells me I didn’t.
V: You weren’t skipping class, you were in the principal’s office! I’ll take care of this later.
D: Oh, good that’s all, I can go?
V: No, there’s a lot more, your teacher told me something about an egg.
D: It was this way.or was it the other way?
V: Quit stalling!
D: You want it quick?
V: Yes, and I want the truth!
D: Well, that may take a little longer!
V: Come on, out with it!
D: Ok, well there was this “rotten egg” on my desk
D: And, my teacher told me to let her have it!
D: So, I let her have it! (Laughs).V: What’s so funny about that?
D: Didn’t you get it the “yoke” was on her!
V: Louie, I can’t believe you would do something like that, I’ll have to take care of this later.
V: Louie, I did want to tell you a story though before we leave.
D: It’s not nice to tell stories!
V: This is not one of those kind of stories, this is a true story, it is right out of God’s book the Bible.
D: Oh, I like Bible stories!
V: It is about David, a shepherd boy, who loved God. While he was just a teenager an enemy came to fight against his country, Israel. Three of David’s brothers were soldiers, but David stayed at home. Sometimes, though, his father sent him to take things to his brothers. One day while David was with them, he heard a loud voice, “Hey, come out and fight me! Ha, ha, you’re afraid, you’re afraid! If one of your men can kill me, we’ll all be your servants.” David looked and saw a great big giant. The men told him it was Goliath, and that he came out every day like that to try and frighten them. David said, “Why doesn’t someone fight him?” We have God on our side. “I’ll fight the giant!”
D: Hey, I like this kid!
V: Yes, so they took David to King Saul and he said David could go fight Goliath.
D: King Saul was a chicken, or he would have done it himself!
V: I suppose you might look at that way, any how, back to the story. So David went to the river bed and took five smooth stones.
D: Why did he do that?
V: Well, Louie, the Bible says Goliath had four giant brothers also.
D: I like this kid, he’s always thinking!
V: Well, back to the story: David also had something like a sling-shot in has hand, and a stick, and he went to meet the giant.
V: (Here he comes!) Ha, ha, you going to fight me? Do you think I’m a dog, you come to me with sticks and stones? David said, “I’m going to fight you in the name of the Lord!
D: I bet the giant was pretty ticked about that!
V: I’m sure he was.
D: So the giant came closer and closer. Then David took careful aim with his sling, and threw just one stone, and the giant fell down flat on his face dead, and David won the victory because he trusted in God!
D: Wow!, that guy David sure must have been a good shot!
V: I’m sure he was, Louie.
D: David was a hero wasn’t he?!
V: He certainly was!
D: Where’s David now?
V: He’s in heaven.
D: Where’s Goliath?
V: Well, I’d rather not talk about that.Louie, are you going to heaven?
D: I don’t know.
V: Do you know how to go to heaven?
D: By being good?
V: How good do you have to be?
D: Awful good!
V: How awful good?
D: Awful, awful, awful, good!
V: Are you that good, Louie?
D: Oh no!
V: I guess you are not going to heaven then.
D: No, I guess I’m not!
V: I’m not good enough to go to heaven either.
D: You’re not! (shocked)
V: No, no one is!D: If we’re not good enough to go to heaven, how are we going to get there then?!
V: The only true answer to that question is found in this book the Bible. The Bible tells us that we are all sinners or have done bad things. Since we all are sinners, and since heaven is perfect, if we got to go to heaven the way we are, we would spoil heaven just like we have spoiled this earth. But God loves us so much that He sent His only Son, the Lord Jesus Christ to the earth to be born. That’s why we have Christmas, but Jesus didn’t stay a baby, He grew up to be a man. Then one day God allowed bad men to nail Him to a cross. There He died for your sins and mine, but if that was the end of the story that would be a very sad ending wouldn’t it be?!
D: It sure would be!
V: But that wasn’t the end, the Bible says that Jesus came back to life again the third day-that’s why we have Easter every year. Then after this Jesus went back to heaven. Now God has made a way for us to go to heaven too, and if we accept His way we can go one day to live with Him in heaven.
D: Oh good!
V: Of course you’re not really real, Louie, but if you were really real, do you think you would like to ask Christ into your heart and life so you could know your going to heaven?
D: Yes, it would be silly not to!
V: Give an invitation to pray the sinner’s prayer something like this: (You can tell the kids that if they pray this prayer and really mean it God will hear it and answer their prayer.) Dear God in heaven, I believe that your Son Jesus came to this earth and was born of the Virgin Mary. I believe that Jesus grew up to be a man and died on the cross for my bad things, and that he took my punishment. That He came alive again the third day, right now, I want Jesus to come into my heart and take away my sins, bad things. I want to be a child of God. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
V: O.K., I think we better get you ready to go.
D: (dummy whispers in ear)
V: O.K., you can tell the folks (kids) goodbye
D: Goodbye-it’s been real fun being here with you, goodbye.
by Gary T. Panell
Download as a PDF: The Joke Was On Her (Salvation – David and Goliath)