Question: I divorced my husband after a long history of disagreements that continued to escalate to the point I felt I was like a living dead in a golden cage. I divorced him, not for sexual immorality, but for a mental/emotional abuse–besides not having intimacy for five years. When I took the path of Christianity he became more upset and unable to accept my beliefs.
I thought my life was going down the drain and after 18 years of marriage I asked for a divorce. He did not contest the divorce. He signed the papers right away. I left him everything and walked away with my clothes on my back. But now I feel this guilt like I have broken a commandment.
I just wanted to follow my Christian faith without so many obstacles and I feel I just [messed up]. I will not go back to him because I do not love him like that. I do not see myself marrying anybody else. So, if I do not marry again, am I still considered an adulterer? I would appreciate your answer. Thanks!
Answer: Hello, according to Scripture (the Bible) and what you have told me of the situation, you are not an adulterer: “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?” (1 Corinthians 7:15, 16) [Even if you were to remarry, since he was an adulterer, you are not sinning. Jesus made this exception for sexual immorality, “Furthermore it has been said, Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew. 5:31,32) And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew. 19:9)]
Your brother in Christ,
Gary
Her reply back: “Thank you so much for opening the doors of heaven with the Word of God. After you answered me I went ahead and read 1 Cor. 7:15, 16. I believed it and I understood it. You don’t know how much this meant to me. I also realized I did have the right to do what I did. For a long time, because I did not know [that] sexual immorality was a ground for divorce, I [only] thought [that] submitting to your husband was part of being a good wife, but now I know better. Nobody should be forced to do things that are wrong and that you don’t approve [of]. That is why my marriage was just pretend and was killing me slowly. Now I feel liberated to grow in the Word and learn more about Jesus. God bless you.
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