Hi Rose and Lola, please consider the advice provided by brother Gary. Once you take into your heart comments such as the one provided by Sali…, including the fact that although we often fool ourselves by thinking we can fight any war on our own, the fact remains, only with God can we ever even be in a position to stand our ground. Eph 6: 10
Thank you Bongani! Thru the years, since almost 2000, we have had hundreds of letters on this subject of wives wanting to divorce husbands. Almost always without fail it boils down to the spiritual. That is why I will ask them right away how is your church life, do you go regularly? How about your Bible reading do you do this every day? Are you praying every day? Are you confessing your sins to God? Are you forgiving each other 1 Cor. 13. When I don’t hear back sometimes, it’s because they don’t want to face the spiritual aspect of their lives, but this is where God starts in His Word. We need to be born again living for the Lord, and marriage is still hard, but as you mentioned, Bongani, it is a spiritual conflict and we do need the armor of God on at all times Ephesians 6:10-18.
Only with God’s help can we be victorious and live a godly Christian life and marriage. I like to explain it like this: Think of marriage as a triangle, with God at the top and the husband and wife on either side at the bottom. If both the husband and wife are climbing toward God they will become closer together, but as they get further away from God, their lives will be further away from each other, and their marriage will start falling apart. Then when they turn back to God, and follow the triangle toward God they will find their marriage improving. So often though people don’t understand this spiritual aspect or don’t want to believe the spiritual is the root of their problems. Those who do, and start following God’s principles from His Word they will have a wonderful marriage. The finances, or sex life are not really the root to the problems, even though these are important.
The other main problem that happens in marriages is that one person will respond to the Lord and the spiritual, but the other one won’t. They even find that one is saved and the other is not. In this case there is a whole other aspect that has to be dealt with. So often in this scenario the one either has to get saved or one has to separate. In which case people say, oh God hates divorce, but we don’t suggest divorce unless there is continual sexual immorality. However, we do suggest separation sometimes because, there are women who are going thru ‘hell’ on earth. So often women will only take it, and even be killed or die early, after much abuse. This is not of God and never did God say they had to be a martyr for marriage. So, thank you for supporting what we teach from the Bible. This is just a short overview of what we have seen thru the years.
After people repent and get their lives in order with regular church attendance, prayer, Bible reading, confession, etc. they will see their lives and marriages changing for the better. Oh yes, sometimes their marriage will dissolve because one or both will not follow God’s principles, but people have a free will. Some have gone too far into immorality or hatefulness, but that is free will also, God will not force us to go His way. He does invite us to listen to Him and His Word. If we will do this all will go well in the end for our lives and our marriages. God bless you Bongani, Brother Gary
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