Unequally yoked together (Muslim marrying a Christian)

Question: I believe these two questions fit in the same category: First writer: “I have a relationship with a young man. He does not currently attend church. He states that he believes in Christ, but he has never been saved. When he was younger he was baptized. I enjoy going to church and [I am] praying to grow in the Lord. He would eventually like to be married. My question is, ‘Should the saved marry the unsaved that has not fully committed himself to the Lord?'”

Second writer: “Is it alright as a Christian woman for me to marry a Muslim man?”

Answer: These questions are basically the same in my opinion; the reason for this is you can’t be a little bit saved! Someone has said it is like being a little bit pregnant, you either are or you aren’t. So the person who was baptized (I am assuming as an infant) but who has not made a personal commitment to the Lord, is not saved, just as much as the Muslim.

God’s Word says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he/she is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) So you are either in Christ or you are not in Christ. {Look at our Ephesians Study Part One} There is a little song the kids sing in Sunday School or Children’s Church and it goes like this: “One door and only one, and yet its sides are two, inside and outside, on which side are you?!” (Also, you will want to look at our tract What Does It Mean To Be Born Again?)

Then, both of these asked, in so many words, is it all right for the saved to marry the unsaved? We have been asked this many times before and I have covered it in more detail in other answers on being unequally yoked. So here I will just give the Scripture and then the links to the other answers. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)

Of course, you could try it if you want to learn the hard way, what millions of other Christians have learned before you. Or you could trust God’s Word and agree with Him that He knows best, since He created us to begin with. It is like swimming in the ocean in a rip tide, where they warn you not to go. You could go ahead and, do like I did once, and almost drowned. Many others have drowned, and the same thing is true of Christians marrying the unsaved. You are setting yourself up for a life of misery! Is that really what you want?

Wouldn’t it make a lot more sense just to trust God’s Word, and believe that He knows what He is talking about? Think of the differences, you could have a wonderful godly family that loves the Lord and is pulling together for His glory and your good. Or you could have a husband that won’t go to church with you, or even worse won’t let you go and/or a husband that is a drinker or an abuser.

Even though the unsaved person that you are dating now may seem nice, wait till you get married. Things can change pretty fast, and you are stuck in a marriage you will regret for the rest of your life. Then you could end up getting a divorce and there are all the heartaches related to that.

Why not just pray and wait on the Lord for His provision for you? Why not trust Him and His Word! Surely you have grown up in a home where one was saved and the other wasn’t, or you have seen homes like this. Is that really what you want?! God loves us and He wants the best for us. If you are to marry, God has just the right one out there for you, and He will bring him into your path in His perfect timing. He gave me the wife I wanted, and I am eternally grateful. Does that mean that we never have problems, oh no, we have had our share, but the nearly 39 years we have been married have been wonderful over all.

He gives the best to those who wait for His best! “Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!” (Psalm 27:14) “Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret.” (Psalm 37:7) “Therefore I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.” (Micah 7:7) The way we wait is by praying for God’s perfect will for us, “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

I see so many people who look for their ‘mate’ on the Internet, but I wonder did they go to the Lord and wait on Him first for His perfect will for them? If they didn’t, they are going to get His second best. Is that really what you want in your life, since we have just one life to live? My wife reads Christian romance novels, and of course, I can’t relate to that at all, but I know they have some real neat stories that are true or based on true events. There have been wonderful happy endings just like in the old time movies. This could be you!

When you get to heaven, do you want Jesus to say to you, “I had so much planned for you but you did it your way!” Look here is what you could have had-how would you feel then? Let’s look at the Church-the bride of Christ-talk about what your marriage could be like, look at these verses, and with these I will finish.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkly or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5:25-27) This is what Christ wants for YOU and your marriage! (For more on this look at our Ephesians 5 Study)

Here are a list of other related questions and answers:

• Question: Explain unevenly yoked, my husband is from Africa and is Muslim and I am Baptist.
• Christian dating Jewish, Christian marrying Jewish.
• Question: Christian dating, courting, and struggles with lust
• I’m a Muslim man, and I am so in love with a Christian girl. She feels the same way about me, but she feels that it would be wrong to be with me and to marry me. I don’t have any problem with her believing, and I respect her with all of my heart. I don’t know what to do, and where to look [turn], and I don’t want to change my belief, like I don’t want her to do [this either]. PLEASE HELP
• Is it ok for a Christian woman to marry a Muslim man in the eyes of Christianity?
• I have an old born again friend who is married to a non practicing Jehovah’s Witness. Would you class them as unequally yoked? His wife is also threatening to leave him if he does not start to follow her to her meetings. He asked me for advice a few weeks ago but I am not sure what to tell him, what would you suggest?
• Is it okay for a Christian to marry her child’s father who is a backslider?
• I love a Muslim very much and I am a Christian. We both strongly love God and we pray that he is with us. We want to pray together that God will be with us and be on our side. My boyfriend feels that God is [on our side] because we are both seeking to love him. We want to get married. I believe that love comes from God and that if I did not have God, I could not love. Is it really so wrong to love him and want to marry him? Sometimes I pray for signs asking if it is ok to marry him and the signs turn out in my favor. What does this mean? If I marry him, will God not accept me? Will God turn his back on me for loving someone who loves me just as much as I love him? Is it wrong to pray to God, saying to him, “God, if you don’t want us to marry, then intervene and separate us. Put someone between us.” If I’m not supposed to marry him, then why do I have so much love for him? What do I do?

I hope this helps,

Gary T. Panell

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