Question: I cheated on my husband and now I think my child might be the other guy’s, what should I do?
Answer: First, you need forgiveness from God. If you are not saved, you need to pray right now: “God I repent of my sin and I want you to save me.” The Bible says God loves us and He wants us to be saved from our sins: “For God so loved the world (you-put your name here) that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever (put your name here) believes in Him (put your name here) should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world (put your name here), but that the world (you-put your name here) through Him might be saved.” (John 3:16-17) “Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” (Acts 3:19)
If you are a Christian and you committed this sin, you need to confess your sin to God. In other words, admit to God that you have sinned against Him even as King David did in the Bible after he had committed adultery. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) You can pray as David prayed: “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; according to the multitude of your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight” (Psalm 51:1-4a). Believe now that God has forgiven you!
Repentance means that we are truly sorry for what we did, but we also need to know that God has forgiven us if we are truly repentant. Now you need to live for God from here on out. In the Bible there was a woman caught in adultery who was brought to Jesus. You may want to read this article: God Forgives Adulterers. The article covers these verses and others: “Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him, ‘Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act.'” (John 8:3-4) the religious leaders wanted to condemn her to death, but Jesus first told them that he who is without sin should throw the first stone, after He wrote–probably their sins in the dirt–they all left. Then Jesus spoke to the woman, “‘Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said to her, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.'” (John 8:10-11)
There are others just like this woman whom Jesus dealt with in love who were adulteresses like the Samaritan Woman and Mary Magdalene who both received God’s forgiveness and went on to be wonderful witnesses for Jesus and the Gospel.
Back to the other part of your question, “I think my child might be the other guy’s what should I do?” My advice to you is to pray and then go to your husband. Tell him the truth, and ask for his forgiveness. Share with him that there is a possibility that the child may not be his. See what his reaction is. Be prepared that he may be violent at first since he will no doubt be very hurt. You know what your husband is like, as to whether or not this is a possibility. He will probably need some time to think about it, and so tell him that you want him to know that you still love him (if this is the case, you will need to examine your reason for cheating) and that you have asked God’s forgiveness, but that you want his also.
You will at some point need to have the baby tested to see in fact who the father is. Tell your husband that you are going to have this done. After this is done, there may be another decision on his part as to whether or not he wants to raise the child as his own if the child is the other guy’s. He does have Scriptural grounds to divorce you if he wishes to do this. We will pray that if it is God’s will he will forgive you and raise this child even if it is not his.
You need to raise the baby for the Lord. Remember it is not the fault of the child, and that this child is still precious in God’s sight!
If your husband is willing to continue the marriage you will both need Christian marriage counseling. There are pastors who will do this for free if you really mean business for the Lord. You need to be willing to face the fact, with the Lord’s help, that your husband may not want the baby, and may not want to be married any longer. I know you have thought about this, but no matter what happens, remember God still loves you and the baby the same. We are praying for you, and I’m sure that many people around the world will be praying for you and others like yourself when they read the question you sent in.
No matter if the marriage lasts or not, God is everything you need, and He can sustain you through everything, if you will trust Him. You will need to find a good Christian church that preaches and practices the Bible. You will need to attend regularly. You will need to read your Bible and pray everyday for victory in your life. (We have a daily Bible reading chart.) You will need to raise this child for the Lord. We have another question about: “What does God say about families?” You might want to read that also when it is put on the web site.
We are praying and God bless you,
Gary and Marlene Panell
For more information email me.