Question: My husband WAS a recovering alcoholic. He has drastically fallen off the wagon again. I love him dearly, but cannot endure a lifetime of the lying, secrets, drunkenness and basically a husband who would prefer to stay at the office and drink than be with his family… We have been going to Biblical counseling, but he has since refused to go and admitted that all the promises he made there were lies, and he never intends to stop drinking…take it or leave. I left it. I have temporarily moved in with my parents, hoping that he will understand what his choice of alcohol is costing him. I know the Bible would say to not throw in the towel ever, but in our situation I don’t think it is practical or safe for myself or our children. Any thoughts? Thanks!
Answer: I believe you have done the right thing by taking a stand, and getting yourself and family out of danger. Dear sister in the Lord, I believe the Lord Jesus wants me to say this to you and anyone else who is in the same situation as you. God’s Word makes it very, very clear: “I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since than you would need to go out of the world.
“But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioners-not even to eat with such a person.” (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)
Paul was speaking to the church as to what you should do with someone who claims to be a Christian, but who is involved in these types of sins. I believe it could very well apply to your situation also. The goal of this discipline, of course, is to bring a person to their senses before it is too late. The road they are headed down leads to disaster! You don’t want to have any part of that. You will need to pray, which I’m sure you are doing, but you also need to get others in the church praying with you.
I am not saying that you should get a divorce, but you can definitely be separated from him until you know beyond a shadow of a doubt where he stands with the Lord. We have several other answers that cover these issues. You might type in the word divorce or separation on the search engine of our web site to access more information on these subjects. Also you may want to study 1 Corinthians, part two, and also the Ephesians study part 4, on the family.
Even as you sent this in, there will be people praying for you around the world. We also have prayer partners that we will notify about your situation. I only wish that you could get a copy of our new article on alcohol called, Is it Alright for Christians to Drink Alcohol? In it, it not only goes into the Biblical reasons why we should not drink, but also has steps to help a person get off of alcohol addiction. This would also be important for you to read since it talks also about those dealing with a person in addiction.
Thanks for sharing, even though it is hard to do this. There are far too many “Christians” out there that have been taught the lie that moderate drinking is alright for Christians, and now they and their loved ones are paying the price. “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 5:19- 6:10)
Thanks again we will be praying for you, your family and your husband,
Gary T. Panell
For more information email me at [email protected]