Question: My husband has had Hep-C for 8 yrs. I don’t know where to start except we are numb and confused – The hospitals and ambulances, my husband losing his mind and not knowing who or where he was. Then in —- he got a liver transplant and we have nothing left or feel anything anymore. [email protected]
We both love the Lord and so I don’t understand why in —- I had a break down and have asked God over and over why and fear that it will happen again. We have no husband and wife relationship at all for almost 8 yrs. now because he bleeds and the doctors say it’s risky for me and so life, …what’s left for us. Now he is taking treatments and I’m praying the nightmare won’t start again. Please why?
Answer: First of all, I will not be able to tell you the answer as to why this has all happened. Sometimes there are things that we don’t understand, and only God will be able to tell us why.
I have looked up some things about Hep-C, and liver transplants. I realize you are more of an expert than I will be because you have lived it. One of the things I have learned, is that it does not hurt to get a second opinion. So, some advice is to consult with a different Dr. to get some of your questions answered, if you have not already done that.
Hepatitis C is an inflammation of the liver, which is caused by a virus. It is transmitted through blood. Normal sexual activity can take place with some precautions being taken (according to what I have found out). Again, this is an area where it might help to get a second opinion!!
It is normal for a person who has Hep-C to have depression, especially after a liver transplant. There are support groups who can help you. Here are a couple of support groups in the USA. Other countries also have some support groups. [email protected]
Support Groups and Counseling
American Liver Foundation
75 Maiden Lane, Suite 603
New York, NY 10038
800-465-4837 (GO-LIVER) or 239-1035
Hepatitis Foundation International
30 Sunrise Terrace
Cedar Grove, NJ 07009-1423
800-891-0707 or 201-256-2550
From what I have read, there is a real concern that after the liver transplant the Hep-C may come back. Make sure you follow what the Drs. tell you and your husband.
What I would like to address is about your changing feelings for each other. I hope you understand that marriage is not just about the sex you have. When you got married, you each made vows to each other. In today’s world, it is so easy to just stand by those vows as long as we feel like it.
The word commitment needs to be at the forefront of any marriage. Without it, the marriage will not last. When a person gets married, they do not always understand what “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part” means.
No one knows what the future holds. When an accident happens, a spouse could become paralyzed. Sickness may take away the mental faculties. That’s why it is important that a person go through counseling prior to marriage. The vow you make before God and witnesses, is an important vow!
God-given love, which is true love, continues to love no matter what condition your spouse is in. The times when you don’t really “feel” love for your spouse, are the times when you need to ask God to help you show His love to your spouse.
I am sure there are times when you identify with Job. He lost everything. He kept asking why. God did finally give him an answer; however, we aren’t always told the why. We are told that we need to continue to look to God in faith, and trust Him that all things will work together for good.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
It is not wrong to ask God why. David asked God why on many occasions. Just understand that God is under no obligation to answer you in this life. Also, your husband is not necessarily sick because of any sin that was committed.
“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matt. 5:44,45)
Some things happen just because of the fall of Adam and Eve. Sin touches the lives of all, just as the good can happen to all. When you become a Christian, God does not give you a problem free life, but He does promise to be with us!
“Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, saying, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.” (John 9:1-3)
Some things happen so that God can be glorified.
You should definitely have prayer for healing, both physically and emotionally. “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.” (James 5:14,15)
Surround yourself with people who love the Lord. Make sure you have a solid support system around both of you. Talk to your husband. It is important that each of you be honest with each other about your feelings. Let your husband know that you will always be there for him, even though it will be hard at times.
Stay in God’s Word. Surround yourself, your spouse, and your marriage with prayer! Go to church as regularly as possible. Fellowship with other Christians. Go to your pastor or mature Christians to get counseling and prayer. Take time for each other. Have a date night (it doesn’t have to be expensive!), and begin to enjoy each other.
We have been praying for you ever since we received your question, and we will continue to pray for you.
May God bless you and comfort you as you strive to follow Him!!
The Scripture used in this discussion is taken from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible.
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Keywords: sickness, marriage, commitment, counseling