It’s 2022 16th July, midnight from my timeline. I’m glad I came across this site as I was searching “if it’s okay to sleep together without sex as Born-again Christians?”, am so blessed with one of Gary’s responses that “the spirit will always tell us when something is not right and that’s 100% true. I’ve always loved the Truth regardless of how painful it may get or be because I believe that God should be the center of everything, God sets the standard. What I would like to share is my story hoping that it would save some young Christians or any other Christian out there from any part of the world.
I’ve been single most of my teen life so I got to experience relationships at my late teens. I’m from a Christian family so I’ve grown knowing that sex outside marriage is wrong as in-fact I remember making a vow before God at the age of 10 that I will never have sex until am married, am grateful to God I kept the promise till to date though I must say I got myself so many times in a position of having sex which would break the Vow but somehow, I’ve managed to come out of such situations. I still believe that, that ability was because at some point my prayers back then or maybe the relationship, I have with God I just don’t understand how I managed to get out without actually having sex. What I know is that; it was all God 🙌🏽!! preventing it in ways I couldn’t / can’t understand because they could’ve taken advantage of me but that has never happened.
I agree with Gary that as Christians, we shouldn’t bring ourselves close to temptation believing that we can subdue it, because brethren, what it actually does is contaminate our purity. With my first relationship I was so powerful and strict the guy I dated was unequally yoked but somehow, I thought it could be different. so, with his reassurance that we won’t have sex + my sense of strength that I thought I had I been certain sex won’t happen, we started sleeping together without any touching sometime later we started touching each other that went on and on and with time he wanted more. During all this time of touching the spirit was speaking with me in my conscience and in my dreams too but somehow, I managed not to listen. What these events were doing to my spirit/soul was keeping me away from God because I started finding myself lazy to go to church, to pray or fast and I even got to a point where I saw it’s okay not to go to church.
One day it just came a realization like something (spirit) was opening my eyes once again and I saw everything and how detrimental it was to me so I decided to reclaim my relationship with God that made me hate evil and focus on God, I asked God for forgiveness, I prayed and decontaminated my soul and asked God for a way forward, the way was to LET HIM GO so I did; with the help of my pastor and my parents, I moved forward blocked him from my heart, forgave him, prayed for him and just moved on. To date I maintained no contact with him.
What I didn’t know is that the touching from my first relationship made it easier for me to keep myself in such positions of more touching and so there was no any other relationship without touching because somehow, they invited me over And I kept going because I knew there was no sex just touching so I wasn’t violating anything (that is lying to yourself). sadly, the touching happened even with Christian brothers those I thought we were equally yoked (I confirm Gary’s words that the opposite sex attracts each other whether you got the sexual thoughts on or not.).
Lastly, in this current relationship with a Christian guy (the equally yoked one), the touching got intense and how naive we were, we would even pray before sleeping well he kept giving indicators like he wanted sex but can’t say it out loud coz he knows it’s wrong, suddenly I started losing interest in the touching but decided to allow it for him Why? because that’s what you do when two people sleep together that’s why WE SHOULDNOT ENTERTAIN SLEEPING TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE. Don’t entertain privacy with opposite sex at all. I remember telling my prayer partner a good Christian sister to pray for my relationship from it’s very start and that she prays for my spiritual life … It came a day out of no-where, it felt like I was speaking to myself telling me that what we were doing is wrong because it doesn’t glorify God in anyway. It hit me deep I felt how I was being unfair to God because he’s the one who allowed us to meet so why the bending of the rules?? I recalled a saying from pastor Vladimir Shankar “multiple unwise things will lead to sin” I weighed my options who can I not live without; I concluded that I can’t live without God so I decided to stand firm on the matter and to let him know that what we did was wrong and so we should personally fix our relationship with God individually and there’ll be NO SLEEPOVERS OR PRIVACY EVER and I decided if he loved me as he says he’ll wait till we’re married.
So that’s my story I got a chance of coming out before it was too late, that was me you never know your story so the best we can do is trust God. Sleeping together may not be seen wrong by UNBELIEVERS but for us BELIEVERS IT’S WRONG. We shouldn’t walk on hot coals purposely (Or can a man walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? -Proverbs 6:28), wise people will know that so this site added emphasize on my decision and for that am grateful 🙏🏽.
May God bless you all and may he keep leading us into the right path no matter where we are at…. Amen