Question: What does the Bible say about “sleeping together.” I don’t mean sex. I mean 2 people snoozing in the same bed and waking up together. I have a few friends that don’t have sex but believe that it’s okay to sleep in the same bed. What scriptures can I use to prove to them that this is a sin?
Answer: I am alarmed because I believe that this issue is evidence of how far the Christian church has drifted from God, His Word, and His standards. ” Abstain from every form of evil.” (1 Thessalonians 5:22)
When Christ returns for His Church, He is coming back for a pure and holy bride. If a person is truly born again, then they have Christ living in them. “Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are.” (1 Corinthians 3:16,17)
When a Christian is sleeping in a bed with someone, Christ’s Spirit is with them (because we are the temple of God). I do not understand how a person can claim to be a Christian and think that two people who are not married to each other and yet sleeping in the same bed is pleasing to God!
1 Thessalonians 5:22 quoted above says to abstain from every form of evil. Another version says to “Abstain from the appearance of evil.” Another version says “Avoid all kinds of evil.”
I had a friend whose young teenage son wanted his girlfriend to live at their house because of problems in her home. She agreed, but insisted that the girl was sleeping on the couch, while her son slept in his room. I did not believe it. Neither did any of their friends at school. This had the “appearance” of evil.
” Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
I have read the Bible through many times in my lifetime. I cannot find or recall reading a verse where God tells us to get as close to temptation as we can. In fact, I find just the opposite! “Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22)
” You have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27,28)
God made males and females to be sexually attracted to each other. The attraction begins when we see someone of the opposite sex, who looks good to us. This is normal. However, when a person spends a lot of time with a person they are attracted to, the looking becomes touching. The touching becomes inappropriate, and then it is hard to stop – and fornication (or sexual immorality) has taken place.
This is because our hormones are controlling us. This is also how some date rapes take place. It may start out innocently, but not everyone uses or has self-control. Even if you are still a virgin, if you are touching the private parts of another person with any part of your body, that is actually part of having sex, it is called sodomy.
Satan will use anything to tempt us and to draw us away from God. Even if we think we can be strong and not give into temptation, Satan has already won because our testimony has been lost. “But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.” (1 Corinthians 8:9)
The only time a Christian should be sleeping in the bed with a person of the opposite sex is when they are married. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4)
To what purpose do two people of the opposite sex sleep in the same bed, if not to have sex? Is it for companionship? If they are sleeping, there is not much companionship. Is it for a warm body? Get an extra quilt or a cat or dog!
If there is such a burning desire to sleep in the same bed, then what is keeping them from getting married? If they want to sleep in the same bed, they must believe that God desires them to be together. If not, how do you think the future spouse of one of these people will feel about their sleeping in a bed with another person of the opposite sex?!
God’s desire is that both the man and woman are to be virgins on their wedding night. He desires for us to keep ourselves pure. I know this is not the way of the world, but it is God’s way. “Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God.” (3 John 11)
When Potiphar’s wife tried to get Joseph to sleep with her, he went to jail rather than commit a sin against God.
“Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. “And it came to pass after these things that his master’s wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, ‘Lie with me.’
” But he refused and said to his master’s wife, ‘Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand. There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?'” (Genesis 39:6b-9)
We have written several answers to questions that are similar. Some talk about sleeping together, but not having sex. If you have not read these yet, please do. You will find these on the Bible Discussion page at bible-christian.org
There is another website you can go to that would be helpful about teens and sexual activity before marriage. This is a person named Pam Stenzel.
Hopefully this and these answers will help you.
For more information email me.